April 07, 2003

Picking a grave

From the rowing machine in the local gym I have an unobstructed view of the cemetery across the street, so every time I work out I'm reminded of how pointless it ultimately is. If I don't catch myself in time, I end up wondering where I want to be buried.

Twenty years ago, when we were living in Seattle, a Japanese friend was visiting. She mentioned enjoying life abroad, but wanted to be buried at home, in Japan. Back in those days I was still young and bulletproof, so I found that line of thought macabre.

Now I'm older. Friends and relatives have died, and I've had my close calls. When the time comes, I'll be dead so why worry about it? Still, there are times, occasionally, when I give in to that mood and ask myself where I want to be buried.

Not in my home town, back in the United States. All my relatives have moved away from there, that would be the least attractive option, buried among total strangers. The cemetery in our village isn't much better. It is fairly new and ugly, and to be honest I don't like many of our neighbors and don't relish the idea of being buried among them.

The cemetery across the street from the gym would be better. It's a few kilometers away, in the town where my wife grew up. She has relatives there, her grandmother; there is a small memorial to her grandfather there too - he's buried somewhere in Croatia, I think, where he died of dysentery at the end of WWII as a POW, captured by the Russians. The church and cemetery are ancient and small and pretty.

There's another graveyard we like even better, where my wife's other grandmother is buried. It's on a mountainside in the Alps, with a wonderful view of the meadows where her grandmother used to work, herding cows. That would be a beautiful place to be buried, but of course there's a long waiting list. People are dying to get in.

So, barring one of the latter two options, I've been considering taxidermy or plastination. Why spend decades in an urn on a mantlepiece, I think, when I could be sitting on a sofa in our library in a natural pose, book in one hand, glass of single malt whisky in the other?

What about you?

Posted by Mig at April 7, 2003 11:49 AM
Comments

As it happens, I was just thinking about the same thing this morning. Must be in the air.

I've arranged to be buried in Concord, Ma., next to Mummy. After wandering about most of my life, I think I would simply like to be back where I started. Plus, I'm not very fond of the Dutch burial customs at all .

Which I was actually thinking of writing about here. ( In short, they dig you up if no one is around to pay the rent).

As the kids get older though, I've noticed that they aren't too pleased with my decision.

So, who knows. I probably won't.

Posted by: sue at April 7, 2003 12:53 PM

"...he's buried somewhere in Croatia, I think, where he died of dystentary..."

That's the best typo (?) I've seen in ages.

Posted by: Eeksy-Peeksy at April 7, 2003 01:17 PM

what about cremation? i think it's a great way to go - i'm thinking about making it a condition in my will that whoever scatters my ashes gets to go on holiday to barbados...(yes, i do want my ashes scattered in barbados)!

Posted by: j-a at April 7, 2003 01:53 PM

Stick around, there are lots more where that came from.

Posted by: Mig at April 7, 2003 01:54 PM

Can't resist commenting...

I want to be cremated, and then have my ashes scattered on a windy hilltop so that I can - in theory, at least - be carried all over the world.

Maybe that's just a cop-out for having to decide on one place in particular! Well, as long as they wait 'til I'm dead before they do it, I'll be happy.

Posted by: David (TEFL Smiler) at April 7, 2003 02:53 PM

Just put me in a Hefty bag and leave me on the curb, thanks.

Posted by: Brian at April 7, 2003 07:18 PM

My mother says the same thing.

Posted by: Mig at April 8, 2003 06:57 AM

Bring out your dead!

(During plague years, were there jokes about women telling their husbands to take the dead out?)

Posted by: Eeksy-Peeksy at April 8, 2003 07:49 AM

the only thing I am not fond of in the idea of a french burial is that from what I understand, embauming isn't always practiced, or something? I could be wrong though. I hope I'm wrong.

Posted by: kismet at April 8, 2003 10:17 AM

"buddy when I die
throw my body in the back
and drive me to the junkyard in my Cadillac"

Kinda spooky, I was just listening to Bruce's "Cadillac Ranch" when I came to that post...

Posted by: ronbailey at April 8, 2003 10:36 AM

this is actually something i think about alot. we have a family cemetery back in Maine, and i'd like to be buried there with my parents and grandparents and my sister and whoever else is there by the time i go.

but my husband and kids are here in nz, and i can't imagine not being here near them. new zealanders are big on cremation, though, which i'm not.

god, such a dilemma.... now i'm depressed.

Posted by: deb at April 8, 2003 11:12 AM

Deb, sorry to have made you depressed. It should be possible to fake a cremation, and provide, say, an urn full of fireplace ashes, and have one's remains shipped home, I'd think.

Ron, unfortunately I drive a Fiat Dobló and I can't imagine being buried in a Dobló, although it's a great vehicle for family outings.

Posted by: Mig at April 8, 2003 11:27 AM

Here's another solution:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/rouquinricain/44047.html

Posted by: Mig at April 8, 2003 12:55 PM

My mother shocked me at the weekend as we were watching the CNN footage of the warehouse full of Iraqi coffins.

"Thats the kind of coffin for me, nothing fancy. And you've to cremate me"

I turned to her and asked if she was feeling ill.

Posted by: D at April 8, 2003 03:30 PM