April 22, 2003
Courtesy
Unless you're speaking to a friend or relative, you don't say you to adults, you address them in the third person: Would the lady like to dance? May I get the lady a drink?
Only later, when you know each other too well to keep your distance, can you speak you to you: When can I see you again? Stay for one more drink. I'll walk you home. Don't go.
Posted by Eeksy-Peeksy at April 22, 2003 06:03 AMEnglish is one of the few languages that doesn't have the formal you, and I must say that I do like the distinction.
Kids start out life by saying informal you to everyone, and somehow begin naturally to use the formal you with strangers and elders when they're around the age of 10 (I say naturally because naturally I forgot to include this in my own kids' education, and was relieved and impressed to see that they'd figured it out on their own).
It does, however, make for some brain teasers when attempting to translate the nuance. Some translators barely bother while others have come up with rather brilliant solutions.
Posted by: Gail at April 22, 2003 04:15 PMIt used to be that way in Sweden as well... and children never addressed their parents as "you," either the formal or informal form, rather they would say "Would mother like a sharp stick in the eye?" or "Would grandfather clean his own goddamned chamberpot?"
Posted by: francis s. at April 22, 2003 05:39 PM