June 12, 2003
Back home
My hometown is stranger to me now than where I live. Visiting my parents last week, the food and eating habits seemed foreign. The cars bigger. News on constantly, same five disturbing stories repeated all day as other unrelated items scrolled along the bottom of the screen as text, also repeating, as if only a dozen things happened all day in the entire world, all scary, all about America.
Newspapers full of advertisements for department store sales. My mom took me to the mall to get some school clothes for my daughter. I couldn't remember how to talk to the sales clerks. One told me all about her day, that she was getting off early that day and looked forward to returning home to read. I asked her what she liked to read, but she couldn't name any titles. "Family stuff" she finally said. I didn't understand what she meant.
The next clerk asked me, as I stood in front of the cash register, if she could help me. "Yes," I said. "I would like to purchase this pair of child's jeans." I remember exactly what I said because she gave me an odd look when I said it, as if wondering if I was one of those guys from another galaxy, so I realized it must sound a little unusual.
"Was anyone helping you?" she asked me.
I gestured towards an elderly lady going through one of the sales racks. "Yes, my mother over there."
Later, a young woman selling massage oil and hand lotion, when she heard I lived abroad, asked me if I speak with an accent.
Posted by Mig at June 12, 2003 09:17 AMhow do you answer the dreaded "where are you from?" question succinctly? and where do you feel like you're from these days? it must be hard to feel like you belong in the US after so long in Austria!
Posted by: Kristen at June 12, 2003 09:45 AMI never really felt a sense of belonging in any particular country. I do still feel American, and not Austrian. But when I got back home, to the house in Austria where my wife and children and I live, I felt I belonged there.
When people in the United States ask me where I'm from, like the girl selling hand lotion, I tell them "I was raised here but moved abroad and now live in Austria." Half the time they then tell me how they've always wanted to go to Australia.
Posted by: Mig at June 12, 2003 09:55 AMIt's funny how the style of speaking changes, becomes more formal. Granted, I think I still phrase my sentences more familiar than most french people, but I definitely feel more "proper" now when I speak english.
Plus, there's the whole forgetting of words thing. Nothing like having a brain fart in public.
Posted by: kim at June 12, 2003 11:38 AMI remember one day, the top stories were Sammy Sosa corking his bat, and Martha Stewart being indicted.
Over and over.
Posted by: mig at June 12, 2003 01:36 PMMy biggest problem when I go back to Canada is resisting the now ingrained habit of kissing even strangers on the cheek when I meet them.
I find myself leaning in, then realize they're starting to lean back, wondering what the heck I'm up to, so I stop, mid-lean, blush and mumble, "I, uh, I've been living in France. Sorry."
Posted by: Gail Armstrong at June 12, 2003 02:36 PMI gave my cousin a big hug at a family reunion once and he recoiled mightily, then said, "Ah, European style, right?"
Posted by: mig at June 12, 2003 02:46 PMI live in New York and have that happen to me every time I go back to the midwest where I grew up. I forget and go for the hug/kiss. So awkward. It's so ingrained that I feel like it's rude not to greet someone that way.
Posted by: Anne at June 12, 2003 07:08 PMThis is a wonderfully insightful posting, Mig! You've really captured the sense of bewilderment of what it's like to return to your original home for a short visit when you've made your life elsewhere.
I've been back "where it all started" for almost a year now. In some ways I got used to it faster than I expected. In other ways, my soul is still "out there", and I'm left confused by how life works here.
That's just the way things go, I suppose. It's just the way things go...
Posted by: David (TEFL Smiler) at June 13, 2003 03:02 AMI fear I've become as unsubtle and pushy as so many Mongolians (not necessarily a bad thing) but I'm hoping to introduce one Mongolian custom to the rest of the planet - that of shaking someone's hand when you accidentally kick their foot. It's supposed to be a Buddhist thing (although I've never seen it in any other Buddhist country) and is meant to restore peace and karma, and to prevent fights (which Mongolians are, admittedly, prone to). Makes me laugh to imagine how it would be, if everyone had to shake the hand of those they kicked during rush hour. A good way to meet people, I guess.
Posted by: chris at June 13, 2003 06:56 AMIt is always strange to realize that you're no longer home even when you're home. It's also strange to realize that the people you grew up with no longer realize what you're thinking, that relating is now something you have to practice. It's hard and a little bit shocking, but it always makes coming home to where i can't read a bit more comforting. Strange as it may seem, to have people stare and be unable to hear the television... these things comfort me now, after two years here, where the neon blinks incessantly and the rain comes down to cover my inability in mist.
Posted by: poocat at June 15, 2003 03:30 PM