October 30, 2003

Wrinkled Pink Americans

I slip and fall on some coral and yelp. Ranelle turns around to prop me up, and we laugh at how stupid I am. Accra beach is quite possibly one of the most beautiful beaches in the Caribbean. We Trinis would like to believe that ours are the most beautiful, but kudos have to be given to Barbados.

I yelp again and Ranelle turns towards me and splashes water on me. "Girl yuh pathetic. Is a whole year you ent bathe in the sea and you can't walk on coral again? Hold my arm, let's find a sandy spot so we can man-watch properly because like you can't handle a little coral."

"Who told you I was yelling at coral reef? I yelling at that shit I seeing across there."

She follows my hostile gaze and shivers when she checks the levels.

Another naked American at a public Caribbean beach. His belly is hanging over what little penis is available to offend us, so our suspicions are only confirmed when he turns around and we see his wrinkled, dimpled ass ebb and flow as he walks out of the water.

"Marge," he yells, "C'mere and see this fish!"

His equally slovenly and even pinker female counterpart, oils her breasts with one hand and fans herself with a Panama hat with the other, turning over on her beach towel.

"These blasted people feel every damn beach down here is for them to run around with they piggy and they tut-tuts hanging out. Granted, the Caribbean is the brothel of the world but shit, why these people offensive so?"

"Girl I don't know."

That day, the day before my flight to Hartsfield in Atlanta, is the first time that I was felt glad to be leaving my beautiful Caribbean. At least in the United States, Americans have enough respect for other Americans and America to keep their clothes on in public spaces.

Posted by Miko at October 30, 2003 01:16 AM
Comments

ummm...interesting. where you find this new ting now??

Posted by: ri at October 31, 2003 06:58 AM

As the pink American owner of a piggy, who greatly enjoys running around with it out and oiled, I have to say that, like in other questions of real estate, the three most important factors affecting the propriety of nudity are location, location, and location. I see nothing wrong with being naked on the beach, say, as long as the other visitors to that beach feel the same way. But it is very bad manners to foist one's piggy and/or tut-tuts on unwilling participants. Don't they have special beaches for that? And law enforcement officers who could ticket such tourists for public indecency?

Posted by: mig at October 31, 2003 07:33 AM

To Mig:

They were probably eventually removed once someone realised what was going on. But it's the fact that Americans assume that EVERY beach is for they piggies and tut tuts to be greeting the world. If no one else on the beach is naked, don't you think you should wrap it up? LOL

To Ri:

Jealousy is a killer! I'm just the shit like that.

Posted by: Miko at October 31, 2003 03:37 PM

"Americans assume every beach is for they piggies and tut tuts to be greeting the world"? I've *never* seen Americans show they piggies or tut-tuts on any beach in the U.S. or abroad. In fact, if anything, I think in most Americans' mindset it's "those wild Europeans" who do that crazy piggy/tut-tut display in public, which naturally will warp the delicate young minds of all children within a 90-mile radius.

For god's sake — won't somebody think of the children???

Posted by: wildsoda at November 1, 2003 02:55 PM