Lost in transit

Cruel, indeed.

Sadly, despite all the "leave no child behind" rhetoric from the current president, public elementary and secondary education in the U.S. is often dismally bad in a wholly different way.

Good song pick. :)

How flexible is the system where you are, in case your daughter should want to change to a different track later?
I can see the logic in putting kids on appropriate tracks, but it horrifies me that they could be stuck there, and that a decision made that early in life could be irrevokable. It sounds similar to the system here in Austria. To overgeneralize, there is an academic track and a trades track, but it is possible although difficult to cross over, here at least.

Mig, it is about the same here : trades/ academic, and while the change can be made, it is usually not that simple.

I have had to rely totally upon the native spouse to decipher report cards and school things here , they remain totally foreign to me and so was more than a bit shocked by this all.

However, the family dunce has actually located a very good school, which is near by- which will provide a path to make just this crossover.

I do believe that I have become redundant.

Francis, I'm so filled with biases on that one that I can't really say anything sensible about the comparison.

I start with * Well, this is Europe* and move on to floundering about in the world of Ward and June Cleaver, urban blight vs suburban blight.

In the end, saying that this is one part of Dutch culture that I don't understand is the most true.

Yep, it is a great song. Wonder if she would have chosen it to echo parenthood ( or would she have picked *Ball and Chain* ?)

Just kidding, ha ha and all of that, of course. Just at times it is hard.

Way back when I went to school in Germany the day of reckoning came after 4th grade (age 10).

But... years ago my wife (Australian) and I had the luxury to decide which country to live in on the basis of schooling for our daughter, then 6 years old. We selected the U.S.

While the selective process in U.S. schools is not as appearant as in Germany (and in Holland, from your account), it exists nonetheless even though everyone involved claims it doesn't. Children are streamed, even if the schools swear they don't do it. They just use different terminology. Once in a lower stream it is nearly impossible to move up. In fact, since schedules are made on the basis of the acknowledged or hidden streaming, it is often not possible to move a child upward out of his or her stream because the schedule wouldn't allow it to take the requires classes.

While I agree that the U.S. system seem much more benign on the surface, it really isn't less brutal in reality. Thankfully our daughter graduated last year halfway intact.

Yes, on the other hand your daughter will be able to improve her "image" and change schools later. A lower school (I'm not entirely familiar with the Dutch "high school" variations yet) can allow her to progress faster than her classmates and then place higher in following years. Again, I'm not up on the details since my oldest is not even 6 yet. Like you, I often have difficulty keeping up on school developments... but from other people I know that the Dutch system has flexibility too.

Well, Michael and Peamasii, I think that I must have been one lucky kid, because even though I went to public schools in America, I received a great education.

I think that the main problem that I have with the Dutch system is that I feel that by separating the children at such an early age, in a way a bit of childhood has ended. I can no longer worry about my 11 year old daughter as a child, I find myself fussing about * what she will become when she grows up*.

Another thing that I have started to wonder about- after chatting with a friend of mine who is an american, married to a dutch fellow and has small children in the dutch school system- is the very strong idea that the teachers here ( well, at least at the school my children attend and the one that hers attend) have about the importance of being *normal* and what constitutes * normal* behavior. Now, this goes right down to a five year old's behavior.

I know that both my friend and myself tend to shake our heads and wonder, what is so bad about being * different*.

I don't know quite what to do with that idea yet, it is new and I'm just chewing on it.

Peasamii- what is your background ? Have you - during parent teacher's meetings- ever encountered rather absurd comments, like your child likes the bouwhoek too much ? Isn't foaming at the mouth to work and do takjes ?

For you see, both my friend and I encourage our children's individuality very much- might be the problem, or that might just be our american edges showing.

I'm not really sure yet.

Hi Sue, no I wouldn't say that individuality is deprecated in favor of conforming to a standard, as far as my experience with Dutch schools. But again, I'm only dealing with group 1-2 level. Furthermore, I've seen quite some variation in the backgrounds of the children, making it unlikely that they would follow a strong common behavioral pattern. I would agree with you that 12 is an early age for being judged though. Maybe an International school is more appropriate for your child, given that you feel cultural differences may be an issue?

Footnote: I'm of Romanian origin but lived in the US and recently moved to the Netherlands. I've been an expat since the age of 15 so I enjoy reading about similar situations.

Oh, and that was me in last comment - Peamasii aka Eduard