April 10, 2006
Today I am a . . . consumer?
I get all sorts of mail that indicates that I live here in Australia: school tuition bill, electricity bill, gas bill, cell phone bill, car registration.
For the first time, however, I've received something that tells me that I'm not just a foreign national living a fringe life outside the experience of native Australians, but that I finally fit in, that I'm truly just like everyone else on my block.
Today I got my first direct-mail advertising brochure. Postal spam.
Did you know that if you send just $139.95 to a post office box in Singapore, you'll receive 56 QuickSlim patches that will help you lose between 21-35kg in 8 weeks, all due to the wondrous properties of FUCUS?
Until today, I know I hadn't.
Yes, that's right, Fucus is "the Latin name for a group of familiar Atlantic and North Sea, [sic] seaweeds. Herbalist [sic] have known for generations that these seaweeds can help fight obesity - and now scientists have proven this in clinical tests!"
In case I'm not sure about the idea of Burning Fat 200% Faster!, a small note tells me that the QuickSlim Fucus formula is the preferred weight loss method for many celebrities and stars! (And if it's in bold AND italic, you know it has to be true.)
Well, gee, why didn't you say so? Sign me up!
Thank you, Australia Post, for making me feel like I finally belong.
Posted by wildsoda at April 10, 2006 09:00 AM