Lost in transit

Meet the Parents

Well, I’ve finished all my work for this degree, and next month I graduate. It’s amazing to me to think that two years ago at this time, I was still with the Australian boyfriend – was actually here visiting him then – and planning ways to move here. Six months after that, I found myself minus one boyfriend and plus one grad school acceptance, and decided to go to Australia anyway. Now, in a few weeks’ time, I’ll be graduating from my program, which means one thing: The Family Visit.

With all of us spread out over three cities on two continents, we have few occasions to get together, and since almost none of my family has ever been to Australia, they decided to come for my graduation ceremony as well as an extended holiday down under, the first and probably last time I’ll ever have a chance to show everyone Melbourne. My father came for a visit a year ago, but I was still wracked with grief from my sweetheart’s death only three weeks before, so it was a real struggle to try to make his trip enjoyable. My mother and her husband have made plans to visit Australia twice before, and both times had to cancel – the first trip was planned for October 2001, but then 9/11 happened; a couple of years later they tried again, but just before they were to leave my stepfather had a car accident and was in no shape to travel anywhere for several months. And my poor aunt, having to care full-time for my recently-deceased grandmother, hasn’t had a proper vacation in at least five years.

So of course I feel a great responsibility here, showing them around. Will they like Melbourne? There’s so much to do here – seriously, and I’m saying that as a New Yorker – that of course we can’t get to more than a fraction of it in the five days they’ll have free for tourism. I’ve got a minivan reserved for two day trips (the Great Ocean Road and Hanging Rock/Daylesford/Bendigo) and then some basic schedules for the remaining three days in town (St Kilda, the National Gallery, Botanical Gardens, walking tours, shopping, a show at the Arts Centre), etc. Thankfully everyone’s staying in hotels, so I don’t have to host anyone at my house (I wouldn’t have the room, anyway), but I’m still worried about fatigue and stress causing spats, as seems to happen at some point whenever we all get together.

I know I shouldn’t worry about what they think of Melbourne and/or Australia, but in some ways it seems that however they judge the city is also how they’ll judge me. As I’ve said before, in most situations being an expatriate is a choice you make, one that inherently reflects not only upon your home country, but in many ways upon the family and friends you leave behind. Even if you’re going forward towards something else, it’s still a statement that there’s something out there more important than being near them, and it’s often something that on some level – if they never wanted to emigrate themselves – they just don’t really understand.

But at least now they all have an excuse to visit Australia – that fabled land of sunshine and natural beauty and grueling, 24-hour trips to get there. (It’s amazing how I’ve gotten used to them after taking 9 long-haul flights in the past three years.) I’d always wanted to go too, but never thought I’d be able to until I had an Australian boy to visit. And of course, like any family visit, there’s always the upside – between my father and my stepfather, I’ll be getting free dinners out for a whole week.

Posted by wildsoda at November 22, 2006 05:17 AM